They Know Me

it’s not about the moon or sunflowers

During my teenage years, I was drawn to all things moon. I think it started at church camp. I really needed a face for God and one evening with the full moon high in the sky; I decided the moon would be my face for God. 

Soon after, I started collecting moons in every configuration. Then came gifts from family and friends. When people saw a moon on a magnet or wall hanging, they thought of me. We didn’t have cell phones back then (!), so instead of sending me a photo of what they saw, many people would just buy the thing and give it to me. 

I don’t ever recall saying, “Hello, friends and family! I love the moon! Please buy me all the moon knick knacks you find!” But somehow, that’s what happened! 

I can’t remember when I stopped receiving moon things, but I do know even in my mid-twenties, I received a card from a close friend with a quote about the moon on the front. So, the theme continued well into adulthood!

Moon mirror. Moon wrapping paper. Moon t-shirt. Moon blanket. Piece of a wallpaper border that I brought from home to my first dorm room. Moon quote on a magnet.

It’s amazing how quickly we can become known for something. The first time I ever grew sunflowers was last year. It’s been just over 12 months since I shared the first bloom on social media. 

Now, I get texts from friends whenever they see a sunflower. 

In my late teens, Katie brought home a clay moon and sun wall hanging from her trip to Mexico. It cracked in her suitcase. I remember repairing it with her. A few years later when I moved, it broke again. And I repaired it. I’ve had this for over 20 years and each time I look at it, I think of her. 

Just recently she sent me this text: I always think of you when I see my sunflowers. :) 

I love the way these themes of life help me stay connected to loved ones. 

In the last few months, I’ve received multiple texts from friends who saw a sunflower, or a yellow flower, and thought of me. One friend saw a sunflower bracelet and shipped it to me. 

The more I ponder this, I don’t think it’s ever really been about the moon or the sunflower. I think it’s a way for people who love me to stay connected. And then, because they reached out to me about that connection, I think of them when I see it too. Just a flow of texts back and forth full of sunflower beauty. 

My friend Katy loved sunflowers. She had sunflower wallpaper in her bedroom growing up. I think it was on her sheets and comforter, too. Later, sunflowers were laid on her gravesite. 

I didn’t think about Katy when I planted those seeds last summer. It took some time before I made that connection. But now, when I see sunflowers, I feel her with me. And then, when Katie texts me about sunflowers, it feels like the three of us are in a circle together again. 

The three of us during our senior year of high school. Somehow, we're in the same order each time: Katy, Katie, Anne.

I never meant to be a sunflower person. I didn’t intend for people to think of me when they saw yellow flowers. And yet, somehow, that’s what I’ve become to those who know me. 

I think that’s it — they know me. I feel seen and known when I receive those texts and gifts. Just like I felt seen and known as a kid when the moon gifts just wouldn’t stop.